Tuesday, 6 September 2011

MAD or DIE.

I've said this many times now, mainly to my best friend.
We've discussed it ALOT when drunk, simply due to how much it pisses us off.
I'm stating now. DO NOT come to me for advice, unless you think I will help you.
 
Why!?

Well, it seems 95% of the people I try and help are fucking morons who listen to advice then go and do the exact opposite. That enrages me more than anything. When I actually do my best to give help (Hell, I don't like doing things, I'm lazy) only to have it thrown back at me.
 
Others start depending on you for advice and advice only, like that's all you're there for.
Listen up, cumstain. I'm not your counsellor. If you want me to be your agony aunt or your shoulder to cry on, you can pay me an hourly rate. Or maybe a set price per session, since all you do is whine constantly. I could make a small fortune off your and air of self-importance and self-pity.

And last, but not lease, the fact that no matter which ignorant fuckhead I try and help, successful or not, there'll always be one more lined up. And if I can't help you with your problem or give you advice you want to hear, I'm the one who gets it in the ear. I'm the one who's useless. Who isn't a good enough friend.
Fuck. You. Go to your mum or dad, ask to borrow the car and drive yourself into the nearest tree.
 
Don't get me wrong here.

If I feel someone is genuine and really needs the help or I know that the help/advice they need is serious and not "MY GF/BF ISN'T TLKIN TO ME WEH", I'll devote my precious, precious time to you.
Also, if you're say, my best friend or a very close friend, you are exempt from most of this, because you people not only keep me from going insane, but keep me happy. So I will nearly ALWAYS have time for you.
But generally, I'm done with moronic people with the same IQ as the bacteria growing in my sinks plughole.
 
Got a problem? Think I'm "selfish"?
Please email: SomeoneWhoCares@NoOne.org
Sayonara.

("Hey. Hey Mika. I saw your blog and I was wondering you could help ME..." - You)

4 comments:

  1. My best friend is a faggot. Can you help me?

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's not a nice way to talk about Hunter. :c

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have not been drunk with Pete or Mika since the passing of many a moons. Halp.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is why you should go suck cock you big fat oaf. You are a wizard.

    ReplyDelete